Inner Threads
Conversations on healing, wholeness, growth and connection. Join us for shared insights and wisdom as we braid and weave together our common threads of experiences and stories to help you along your own healing path.
Inner Threads
Navigating Difficult Times: Insights and Strategies
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
In this episode of Inner Threads, hosts Courtney Kaplan, Jessica Luke, and Bert Nelson discuss how to navigate difficult times, focusing on emotional responses, the importance of community, grounding techniques, and the power of belief and appreciation. They explore the challenges of feeling overwhelmed and resigned, while emphasizing the need for connection and the ability to respond with compassion. The conversation culminates in reflections on personal intentions for the upcoming year, highlighting the significance of weaving together various aspects of life for a more cohesive experience.
Chapters
00:00- Navigating Difficult Times
06:48 - Understanding Emotional Responses
13:53 - The Importance of Community
21:11 - Facing Fear and Rejection
27:51 - Finding Safety in Overwhelm
29:39 - Navigating Information Overload
32:27 - Grounding Techniques for Stress Relief
36:26 - The Power of Presence and Awareness
40:05 - Safety and Awareness in Our Environment
43:09 - Shifting Focus: From Negativity to Positivity
45:58 - Finding Joy in Everyday Moments
49:51 - Community: Contribution and Connection
56:11 - Setting Intentions for 2026
Bert Nelson is a spiritual counselor, Buddhist minister, and energy medicine practitioner. He works with individuals navigating change, grief, identity, and questions of meaning, supporting clients in reconnecting with themselves and living with greater clarity and intention.
On Substack @BrightRavenArts
https://www.brightravencounseling.com/
Jessica Luke is a Depth Counselor and Integrative Healing Practitioner, and founder of The Well Grounded Soul and the https://1440health.com/, an integrative healing center in Bethesda, Maryland. She works with individuals navigating transition and emotional complexity, supporting them in reconnecting with their bodies, intuition, and deeper sense of truth.
On IG @thewellgroundedsoul
https://thewellgroundedsoul.com/
Courtney Kaplan is a coach based in Oakland, CA. After years in the corporate world, she founded Iconic Leadership Coaching to help people navigate work complexities, leverage their strengths, and grow their authentic leadership style. She uses emotional, physical and spiritual tools to help clients find peace and power.
On Substack @courtneykaplan
https://www.iconicleadershipcoaching.com/
Welcome to Inner Threads, a podcast on healing, wholeness, growth, and connection. Join us for shared insights and lived wisdom as we braid and weave together our common stories and experiences to help you along your own healing path. Inner Threads is hosted by Courtney Kaplan, Bert Nelson, and me. I'm Jessica Luke. I work as a spiritual counselor and I'm the founder of the Well-Grounded Soul and the 1440 Health Collective, a healing center in Bethesda, Maryland. I support people through times of change, helping them reconnect with their intuition, personal power, and the wisdom of the natural world.
SPEAKER_02I'm Bert Nelson. I'm a spiritual counselor and the executive director of a nonprofit conservation farm in Western North Carolina. I'm interested in how spirituality, science, and shamanism come together to help us heal and live more fully as ourselves.
SPEAKER_00And I'm Courtney Kaplan. I'm a coach based in Oakland, California. And after years in the corporate world, I founded Iconic Leadership Coaching. My transformative coaching helps people create a good life, both personally and professionally. And I use multiple modalities, including emotional, physical, and spiritual tools, to help my clients find peace and power. I'm excited to be here today to talk a little bit about how we manage difficult times. It seems like it's a time where there's kind of no getting away from the difficult things we're seeing in the news, difficult things we're seeing in our communities. Um there's there's not really there's there's no escaping it. So how do you manage to be in it?
SPEAKER_02I think there's no escaping it. So you've got to be in it.
SPEAKER_00That's right. That's right.
SPEAKER_02Done. I think it's I think it's really hard. And for me, one of the things I've got to consider is not just that I want to be away from it, but why I want to be away from it. What makes the time so difficult and and what about that is challenging to me. I find that I feel a lot of pressure, a lot of tension, uh, a lot of fear, and often that can lead to anger. And so when I find myself in this, in any of those places, in one of those spots and feeling that pressure, I find for me, I've got to come back to me, that I've in some way twisted away from myself. I'm or the present moment. I know we've talked about that quite a bit up until now, and it's so relevant here that I'm worried about something that has just happened, or I'm worried about what's going to happen next. And it it just keeps me from being in my body and with myself, and that's a real struggle. So for me, the goal then is to come back to myself, to come back to my body and to the present moment and then learn what is the truth here, what is my reality here, not my fear, not my anger, but but what's actually going on here. And often when I'm able to do that, I can find a little bit of relief from the pressure that I'm feeling. And I can make the next best step for me, whatever that is, to move forward in my day.
SPEAKER_00Thank you for explaining what happens when you're going through difficult times, because for me it's slightly different in that, especially in the current environment, I go to overwhelm. I feel overwhelmed by the number of things going on, the opinions about the number of things going on, the supposed outcomes of the things going on, like this overwhelm, overwhelming sense of responsibility or need to take action or need to do something about the things that are going on. And I notice that my mind tends to collapse time and space. So there's not a chronological spacing of these things. It feels like everything's happening right now, all at once, all the time, which is false when I can stop and slow down a bit. But that real sense of overwhelm, which kind of leads into hopelessness, is kind of my pattern when things get difficult. And I'd be curious, Jessica, to hear for you what's that like when we talk about difficult times? What does that look like for you?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's, you know, I get very sad. It's like a sadness and a frustration where you feel like there's not much you can do. Um, I think witnessing people suffering is a really hard place to be in the human condition of watching people actively suffer. Yeah, I find myself wanting to turn away, but Bert, you brought up, you know, initially, it's just like, uh, it's happening. We have to accept it. And it's hard. It's a very hard thing to accept. But I think sitting with the emotions and seeing kind of what maybe some of their roots are. Is it, you know, feelings of injustice? Is it uh powerlessness? You know, what are the things that are underpinning some of our reactions? And Courtney, you brought up responsibility, and you know, that's a huge topic, too. And I I just saw something on Instagram where someone was talking and about responsibility and breaking the word down to response and ability. And what is our ability to respond? And what is our response? And I think for me, what triggered such deep insight from that conversation that I listened to was that you can have a choice in how you respond. Yeah, you might be sad witnessing this or frustrated or overwhelmed or angry, but the choice we have to each respond in our own way, I think brings some lightness to it, where we always have that agency to respond in a way that maybe comes from a place of compassion and understanding, which is a hard bridge to get to. I get that. It's not easy, but I that's my intention usually is just how can I get to that space of understanding myself and then the condition of the other people.
SPEAKER_00One of the things I wonder as we talk about difficult times, I want to kind of maybe quickly outline some of the dead ends a little bit of difficult times, meaning resignation. Nothing I can do, no way to change this. I'm resigned, I can't do anything about it. I feel like overwhelm is a dead end. There's kind of nowhere to go from being overwhelmed. Sadness, I think, is a good tool or an awakening of acknowledging your own humanity, but there's also a piece of sadness that might get into that resignation mode of I'm too sad, there's nothing that I can do. I am kind of at the mercy of these terrible things. Do you guys do you notice any other dead ends that you notice in your clients or in yourself when we face difficult times? And this is not to criticize these moves, but that I want to point out and shine a light on some of the ways we may typically respond to difficult times. And then we can go into some of the ways that we might more constructively create some new moves for ourselves during these difficult times. So beyond kind of that resignation or overwhelm, what other things do you see happening, Bert and Jessica, that really stop the potential of another choice or a way of being with difficult times with either more peace or ability to make moves?
SPEAKER_01I think it's what I've been seeing with a lot of my clients is this like the stress response, they're in fight or their flight, you know, or even freeze, right? Which I think is also a common that resignation. And that's a tough place to be because it feels good in the moment. Oh, I'm gonna fight. I'm gonna fight this. What do we have to do to fight? But it's actually working against your ability to come around to that more grounded place of acceptance or compassion for yourself or understanding the deeper layers where it doesn't hit that dead end. Court, I like that you said that, Courtney, because I think helplessness is another one of those where it's or hopelessness, maybe even of like, oh, there's just nothing we can do. Just throw in the towel. Or the opposite of that is I'm just gonna fight, I'm gonna keep fighting, keep fighting. And I I think that works against people and their ability to to find a better path forward through through difficult times.
SPEAKER_00Those conditions, response, those conditioned responses of fight, flight, freeze, fawn, you know, all those conditioned responses are such served us well at some point in our lives, or in maybe in some situation at some point. But it's great to kind of build out more constructive responses. I love that. What about you, Bert?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I love this framing of fight, flight, freeze, fawn, if we're if we're adding that one as well. You know, I was thinking what I see is either that resignation that you were talking about, Courtney, or the um continued bad habits, right? It's like, well, if I if you can't beat them, join them. You know, it's that way of giving up responsibility to the thing that you know isn't serving your highest good in order to just keep going. And whether that's a substance or whether that's a behavior pattern, or whether that's being angry at the person or the thing, because it makes you feel something, Jessica. You were saying that short, you know, in that short term, you have that little bit of power that it feels like it gives you when in reality it's undermining you as you're working through it. So I'm almost thinking of the dead ends now as fight, flight, or freeze. And so there's the resignation, there's the freeze, the hopelessness, I can't do anything. There's the fight, I'm gonna be angry, I'm gonna challenge, I'm gonna engage. And we see how often that doesn't work well and only escalates things further. And then there's the running away, right? Ignoring the fact that this thing is happening and burying your head in the sand. I've got clients that exhibit all of those patterns. So I think there's a place here where we feel like we don't have any options other than whatever the bad choices, bad choices that's that's before us. And I think it's really helpful to have compassion for ourselves when we land in that space of, oh, I acted in a way that maybe doesn't serve my highest good or doesn't feel so good after the fact. But understanding through that compassion that there's a reason why I was feeling that way. And that doesn't make it okay in a sense, but it does offer a bit of reframing and perspective that can help you get back on to where you'd like to go. We've talked about this before, the idea of having a having a goal and working toward it and then falling off it and giving up because you messed up one time. And and no, you don't throw all of that work out because you've had a step back. You if you can hold compassion for yourself and know that I'm a human who is very overwhelmed or sad or angry or resigned or hopeless or helpless or whatever the adjective is that describes the experience, then you can begin to relate to yourself in a different way. And so something I'll ask my clients all the time when they're beating themselves up in this place, because that's often what I see, is how would you treat someone else who is coming to you? How would you treat a child often is the example that I'll use who's dealing with the same thing? Would you treat them the way you're treating yourself, or would you show up in a different way? And if you can show up in the way you would toward the child, then perhaps that's a path back toward yourself and in and a release from some of the pressure of these difficult times.
SPEAKER_00I love that. I would the fight, flight, or freeze makes a ton of sense. That's kind of the dead end behaviors. And also I would add fixed, meaning a fixed point of view that this is bad and it's never gonna change, and it's there's nothing I can do, kind of a fixed, I have limited ability or option or limited ideas to change this. It's one thing I see in my clients sometimes is they're experiencing a bad moment and they suddenly make that a fixed experience. It's gonna be like this forever, and I have limited creative energy, and there's no way that this could change. They're not really tapping into the well of options that are still there, even in difficult times or situations they wouldn't have chosen for themselves.
SPEAKER_02One of the things that I've noticed with myself and with my clients in this place is regardless of how they're experiencing the difficulty, is often there is a sense of feeling alone. And I know that's something that I easily fall into. And so I try to stay on top of it. But what do you say to someone who, you know, is in this place who is feeling so overwhelmed with the goings-on in the world, the the awful whatever that's happening around them, and feeling like they're the only one who is wanting to push back against it and they can't, and and so they feel isolated. How do you address that with your clients or your friends or your loved ones?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's a great question. And right, it's such a resonant problem, issue, concern that I think a lot of people in our culture has just led us to be very isolated or have this kind of um, I think a false sense of community, which then creates more of that isolation as it's where you realize that you are alone. And, you know, I think we've we've had brilliant conversations about nature and connection to nature and knowing that there's all these other forces around us. And there are local communities. There are people that are like-minded that come together that want to share and similar beliefs and I think intentions kind of hitting some on some of our back talks, that have that same mindset, that same intentionality of wanting to bring peace and hope, or just a place where people can come together and say, Yeah, I hear you. I feel that same way. You're not alone. And I I can imagine that those are available in every community. And for me, I encourage people to connect with like-minded people in their, you know, whether it's in their neighborhood, like go out and talk to people, go meet with your neighbor. And, you know, through the shamanic work that we do, the spiritual work of connecting with other forces that are benevolent and helpful. And that is a just an inner, there's like the inner resources and the outer resources that people can tap into that we just don't know that are there. And it is helpful to talk to somebody who can guide into that realm as far as the spirituality, but also you, you know, it's gonna take some courage to get out and say, hey, let me go find other people that are also going through a similar thing because no one is alone. No matter what your belief system, there are other people that are also going through the same type of struggles. So it takes some courage, and that's what we need more of in this culture is less fear and more courage.
SPEAKER_00I agree. I this year in particular, I've seen more commentary and more conversation in social media and online about communities, people forming communities, people finding communities, people creating communities. And while it's ideal to be with people in person, if if you can find a local group of people to meet with in person, it is one of the benefits of being online to be able to connect with folks no matter where they are in the world. If you don't have the time or um resources to connect in person, or you haven't been successful in finding like-minded people around you in your local community, there's always people globally um connecting on any kind of topic. I do agree with Jessica that it takes some courage. And it's especially hard because when it those first steps take so much courage and so much more effort than later steps do. And sometimes those first steps are missteps, right? We connect with the group and then it's not quite what we're looking for, or it's not quite, you know, the connection that we're that we need. So being able to give yourself a couple tries at that to see what specifics are going to be most realistic for you to connect in with as a community. And if it's if it's like, look, I don't know what you guys are talking about, community, connecting with a community, I'm just lonely. Even going to a coffee shop with other people around you can be a big help in reducing that loneliness of having other physical bodies around you and just reminding you that you're not isolated in your house or in your home. What do you have thoughts, Bert?
SPEAKER_02I do, and that's super helpful. I mean, that really does offer just the idea of sitting in a coffee shop with other people, right? Even if you're not talking to those other people, being present with them can be so just it gives you permission to be part of the world, right? To to be in connection in that way. I find for myself that I'm worried about being judged, or historically, that's what the concern has been. As kids, it's pretty easy to make friends, I think. It's just finding someone outside on the playground doing the thing that you also want to be doing and enjoying that time together in communion. And as adults, I feel like most of our friendships come from school if you're in school or work or community groups. So if you go to church, then you likely have friends in that church group. If you go to a bowling club once a week, then that's likely your friend group. But outside of those very constructed systems of connection, it's hard to make friends. And every single time you face the risk of rejection. And for someone who's very risk averse to that type of rejection, who's already feeling alone or scared or not having the courage, it can be almost insurmountable to try it and move beyond. And what I have done is kind of a rip-off the band-aid method in my own life. I'll literally ask someone if they want to be my friend. And that sounds dorky sometimes. I've had several experiences since we moved a couple of years ago to a very rural community. There's not a lot of opportunity. We're a single-car household as well. And so I am up on a mountain with no vehicle and 30 minutes to the closest grocery store and coffee shop. And, you know, how do you, how do you manage in in that space? Well, you take every opportunity you have to say, will you be my friend? Uh, when when that happens. And it has been such a lovely, beautiful experience to to play. And you know what? I don't think I've been rejected a single time in terms of the fear of of being of being rejected. I'm not asking every human I come across, do you want to be my friend? But when I do feel a resonance there, I I ask, because what's the worst thing that happens? They say no, and I am no worse off than I was 30 seconds before asking the question. And that's all upside. Why wouldn't I want to participate in a way that is that is only upside? And so anyone who's listening that is an introvert like I am, or or is afraid to meet new people because of the fear of rejection, or perhaps being, you know, I'm a queer person in a rural area. And there were some concerns about can I be out? Can I be my authentic self? Can I be with my husband in public without getting heckled or harmed in some way? And so that's something that I'm still working through. And I do feel those little nervous system spikes of is it safe for me to be me here? I'm wondering if either of you have any thoughts around the safety piece.
SPEAKER_01Thank you for sharing all that, Bert. That's really cool. And I just love that you do that. And I think it just points to like the shared humanity that no one's turned you down. Cause I can imagine there's a lot of people that have that same feeling, that same like, well, I don't want to be rejected, or oh, do they like me? And just to have that direct ask, I mean, it's just brilliant. And I think we need more of that. So I love that you do that. And and I think it's, I'm sure, an invitation to those people to do that more. It's that ripple effect of that energy, which is which is really, really, really profound. So thanks for sharing all that.
SPEAKER_02I do want to reflect just briefly on that. That I most of the people who I have asked are all they're always startled. There's always this, like, wait, what? I was gone to this. It is jarring, I think, to not just I I want to reflect that it's not just the discomfort of asking someone, having the courage to ask someone, will you be my friend? It's also recognizing that being asked that question can be jarring and and off-putting and brings up many of these same questions that I've got before asking the question. And so I think it's important to point that out as well, that people are kind of taken aback when you ask, Will you be my friend? And it, I think, disrupts whatever habit or pattern is going on in their system enough so that they can make an informed choice or decision, right? It breaks that that habit and and offers a new way of.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I mean, it's my boyfriend on our second date. He's like, Will you be my girlfriend? And right, it was one of those, like, wow, I feel like we're in elementary school or something, but it was so direct and clear. And yes, let's let's just name it and get it out so that we can start to develop more of a connection, whether, you know, friendship or more than that. And so that's that's really it is a disruptor. But you mentioned something about safety too, which is an interesting topic. And maybe I'm also gonna throw it back at you, but like what what about what we talked about in safety is the the question.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I I think when I am considering putting myself out on a limb, whatever that means, in whatever context that is, I feel nervous. I get I start sweating, I get, I get anxiety that starts. Coming forward, and I recognize that those are all I'm not safe responses, that my nervous system is getting kind of wound up in a way that I'm not comfortable with. And my initial reaction is one of these fight, flight, or freeze scenarios. Now I am typically flight if I can, and if I can't, then I'm freeze. And so it it really, I do have to often tell myself, you're okay. Nothing's wrong here. You're safe. There's there is no danger. It points to that age-old example of the saber-toothed tiger that is attacking the caveman, and the caveman's system is all jacked up now and they're trying to get away. And that's super, super helpful in that kind of scenario. But in today's world, there aren't many saber-toothed tigers that are coming after us. And so most of the unsafe situations that our bodies are telling us that we're in are perceived danger. There or not real danger. There is no real danger there, but our body is telling us that there is. And so I'm wondering if that's something that either of you had have had experience with and how you manage it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And I think Courtney mentioned something about like slowing things down, you know, and it's just that kind of like witnessing yourself having that reaction. Um, I mean, it my mind is coming in with a bunch of different things of experiences with that, but it's also making me think about, you know, people that are listening to this, that, you know, you are inundated with emails and news, and those are our modern day saber-toothed tigers. And we're sitting here watching a TV or looking at a computer or a phone and having that response when there's actually no real threat. And yeah, that whole idea of what's the body's response to that. And so I think in that context, it happens a lot. And even from an email from a boss or, you know, news story and creating that space and like if you can drop the phone, if you can close the email, or just slow it all down for a moment and take a step back and just say, I am okay in this moment. Right now, here, my feet are on the ground. I am okay. There's actually no actual threat to my life happening in the moment. But I can imagine that it happens to all of us all the time, these moments. And I love that you named it that Bert, because it is a feeling of not being safe, but it comes in so many different contexts. And I think we experience it so much during the day that we don't even notice it. We just we get a little numbed to that feeling of being unsafe. And then we walk through the world all, you know, ready to flee or ready to just, you know, freeze and and disengage from the world when really none of that is real, really happening to our physical body. Nothing is actually harming our life in that moment. And just having that ability to pause and step and feel your body. And, you know, I mean, I'm I would be curious if any of you have like somatic practices or other practices that kind of come in that help you remember that you are safe, that you are present and not being attacked by that quote-unquote saber-toothed tigra. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, in the feeling of overwhelm that I get, which primarily comes from absorbing too much information, which is the dominant narrative of our culture right now, right? Bombarded with information, updates, opinions. We're very mentally oriented. So we're thinking about it and figuring it out and wondering about it and making a spreadsheet about it. So that that really is the thing that starts to trip me into overwhelm. So when I can, first of all, remember that that's part of the point of what's happening right now. The point is to overwhelm. Number one, because it's confusing and demoralizing. And then number two, because that panic or that concern that you are facing a saber-toothed tiger keeps you on your phone scrolling away, right? To more and more, or hear how bad it is, or what you should do next. Oh my God, now there's a new update. I got to stay on top of that. And it's an endless scroll. It's not like an old newspaper where you would like read the newspaper, fold it up, done and done until tomorrow. The paper's been read. This amount of information that we're getting now is much more consuming, consuming. So be careful if that's if you don't want to be consumed by the news, watch how you're consuming the news. Returning from into the somatic, into the body is a big helper in turning off the mental only orientation of reading, looking, learning, more information, more information, but to tune into the physical body. And so for me, tuning into the physical body can be taking time alone in nature, taking time alone by myself and breathing, or sometimes I'll make a little promise to myself, every person I interact with today, I'm going to speak to like they're a human being. So not the cursory, thanks, have a good day, or um, you know, hi, running your groceries through the beeper at the grocery place, but saying something, right? How has your new year been? Wow, it looks busy today. Have you been busy? Do you get a break soon? Anything like that that helps me reconnect to the real people and real environment around me can be a real disruptor of the overwhelm and kind of living in that overly mentally oriented space. So and I notice even for a while, I thought, oh, maybe I'll send a friendly text or text someone I've been thinking of. That's okay. I think it's different to talk to the person, call them on the phone and hear their voice, do a quick video call, something that's more connecting than another piece of electronic information kind of out there. In the moments when things are overwhelming, we tend to shut off our creative capacities. So we don't have great ideas of what we could do next, or great ideas of what could make this better. So maybe not expecting that of yourself, but really step one being stepping out of the stepping out of the trap, stepping out of the loop, and finding a way that you practice stepping out of that loop, turning the phone off, sitting a little bit, listening to some music, connecting with other human beings around you, whatever that is, to break the cycle.
SPEAKER_02I've got a simple practice that isn't somatic so much, but is a practice that I find helps really quiet me quickly if I'm really spinning out on a piece of news that I just heard or some an event that's happened in my space that feels really pressing. And that's just to name, stop what I'm doing, and name five things that I see. There's no defining. I'm not defining those things that I'm looking at. There's not an agenda with the things that I'm looking at. It's not five things that are blue or five things that remind me of someone. It's literally just naming five things that my eyes see: camera, microphone, Jessica right now on the screen. You know, these ways really ground me in my present time and space. This is my reality right now. Not the thing that I am worried is going to explode, but but these five things that I can see with my eyes from where I'm sitting in this moment. And that has been a really helpful tool in slowing me down and helping me get out of that place or keep me from getting to that place of dead end that we were talking about earlier. And Jessica mentioning the email, I didn't even consider that, but I was in the grocery store the other day and I heard on someone else's phone, somewhere in the store, uh, a Microsoft Teams alert go off. And it spiked my anxiety immediately. Now, I haven't used Microsoft Teams in more than two years. This is from a past job that it became almost this like sound of something's wrong. Oh gosh, what am I in trouble for? What do I have to act on now? It always meant that I had to go from kind of a steady state into I have to be active and on and prepared. You just saying email coming in was enough for me to spike in that place. It's so interesting how wired we are for these things that feel not safe for us in our environment.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And even the sensory, right? It wasn't you were looking at something, it was a sound. So, right, that's a fascinating thing to think about is, you know, what other how our other senses come in and play into that same fight, flight, freeze, fawn fix response, which Courtney, I love that fix thing. That that was brilliant. But you also said something, Bert, that was really interesting about grounding. I can't remember exactly what you said, but it was about grounding and being present. I have a sense that when we do get really caught in in any of these stress responses, we're sucked out of the present moment. We are worried about the future. We're being overwhelmed by what does this mean for the long run or or hopeless. It used to be so good. We're getting sucked into the past, where it sounds like a lot of where some help can come is realizing that in this present, like what the present moment can hold for us. And it's making me think about Eckhart Tole's Hold the Power of Now, which is a brilliant book. And there's a lot of really profound kind of Buddhist insight about that. Like all we have is right now. This is this moment, and these grounding practices to remember that you are here right now, and everything right now in front of you is okay. And getting caught in the past or the future is where all that suffering leads us.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'll add an exercise that helps me stay grounded. And I guess grounding meaning connected with yourself on the earth in this moment, right? Instead of kind of flying around into the future of the fast past, but feeling connected and in your body. You can feel yourself breathing, like Bert said, you're aware of what you're seeing around yourself, you're aware of what you're smelling or sensing around yourself. And one exercise that I've learned, I'm gonna abbreviate it, it's an extended meditation, but I think it's still helpful, is to feel the length of your body, just in a moment standing there with your feet on the ground firmly and your spine kind of stretching up in the length of your body. And then once you take a moment to feel your full length, really your dignity in yourself, feeling the width of your body, kind of shoulder to shoulder, hip bone to hip bone, that you have your body has a width in space and feeling that width side to side, and then that your body has depth front to back, that a lot of us are very front-oriented or eyes-oriented, but we have a whole back side of our body. So understanding that our body has depth and that depth is both real, right? Like a measured depth of your human form, but also the depth of your background, your education, your experiences, your support, all the things that you have supporting your back that have your back. And I think that sometimes that's a helpful way to orient in space and remember, oh wow, there's component I'm I have length and dignity, I have width, I have people side by side with me. My body has a breadth here that I can breathe into and feel. And I have a depth. I'm not a paper doll. I have dimension and I have a back and remembering all the things that are at my back to help support me and protect me, including my spine being in my back to support me and protect me. That kind of it's kind of a little three-part check-in that can help me orient in a space wherever I am.
SPEAKER_02I like the idea of for myself thinking of my spine as a grounding rod when we talk about grounding or lightning rod. And when we think about grounding in terms of electricity, it is a way of organizing and discharging, right? And completing a circuit or not, depending on your goal in the in the grounding process. So I find that if I can be that rod, if I can be that lightning rod, if I am in the earth, if I am held, if I am sturdy, I'm gonna add now, Courtney, this taking up space piece of it. How tall is that lightning rod? How straight? How, you know, what what is what are the dimensions in space that my body is taking up? It really only strengthens that practice that I have. I thank you for that. And Courtney, I've heard you talk before about in another context, about literally looking behind you to see that there's no danger there. Is that something that you could relate to a little bit more here?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. And let me also point out that this is Richard Strozy's work, the Strozy Institute. They have great free videos online. I think they have a free community call on Tuesdays. But just pointing out that this is not something I invented, but something that's been around for a while. But um, being able to orient, kind of remembering that you're still an animal, look a mammal. And um sometimes when we're sitting, we can actually confirm that we're safe by looking around us, right? We look to our sides, we can see in our peripheral vision, there's no saber-toothed tigers, nothing's coming. But look all the way around you, look behind you. Is it safe back there? Is that nothing's creeping up on you? Okay, great. And that can give that kind of animal part of your brain some reassurance that, okay, I've I've I've inspected the area with my own eyes, and I see that there's no saber-toothed tigers, there's no snakes, there's no, there's nothing that's um going to cause me to be in danger. And that again can somatically we forget that we're not just emails and slack messages and text messages. We're a somatic physical being. Um and we're a mammal, and so there's parts of us that can be satisfied with that kind of little inspection of looking around, looking behind around, you know, all around to make sure all is clear.
SPEAKER_01It's making me think even of my work with horses, because horses have eyes on the side of their head so that they can see almost completely all the way around them because they are prey animals, right? So they have that ability to be able to check out what's happening behind them. Very easy and their ears move, you know, so they're going back, they're using other senses to kind of check in to acknowledge fear or predators, or if they're safe and it's just the leaves rustling and they can carry on grazing. So yeah, it's brilliant.
SPEAKER_00Great reminder. Yes, horses are so amazing in that respect. Really, really cool. So I'm wondering if someone's listening to this and they're thinking, okay, difficult times, community or connection, maybe grounding, having some understanding of what that means and knowing that might be something I need to do to stay out of the fray or the overwhelm or the fight, flight, or freeze. That that sounds that sounds like a good practice. Um, is there anything else you can think of that helps someone navigate difficult times? You've got community, you've got um grounding, you know, disconnecting from that dominant narrative of scrolling or incessant news or incessant information, I think is a good one that we've pointed out. Anything else that's kind of a go-to or a real tool to have at hand?
SPEAKER_02I don't know if it's so much a tool as it is a reminder that we talked about this before, where your attention goes, your energy flows. And it might just be a matter of shifting where your focus is lying. And we've been talking about this today as we've gone through all of this, the media you're consuming, the news you're consuming, the people you're around, the environments that you're in, those are all inputs that we consume. And it's helpful to remember that what we focus on becomes our reality to some extent. And that can be a really powerful way of reframing an experience that you're in. It doesn't deny or negate the difficult times and the negativity that might be in the space, but it does open to this idea that there's enough space for more than just that negativity to exist in. And once you begin to pull on that thread, you might find there's a whole lot more good going on than you originally imagined there might be, because you're not just focused on the thing that's causing you fear or resignation.
SPEAKER_00I'd like to build on that too, with the idea of small appreciations. I guess maybe even not small, but appreciation. So meaning being present and aware and noticing the beautiful colors of green on the leaves of the trees, noticing a sunset and pausing to take in that beauty, appreciating a meal with a friend or a child or a pet, appreciating a warm bed, appreciating all of these amazing things that are around us all the time that we just become completely blind to, you know, totally give no acknowledgement to. And again, the point isn't to minimize that something bad is happening externally, but but the idea that there's a much more good in your world than we ever really give credit in our world. So to give those moments of recognition, appreciation, savoring, gratitude, those types of things can be really powerful when you're talking about where your energy goes where your attention, your attention goes where your energy, that your energy goes where your attention flows. Whatever that is, put your put it on something good. So, and there's plenty of that around you. So do that and take the minute to do that. It makes a difference. It matters, you know. We're we're we're up to our neck and grace and good things often, and we want to push that aside. And let me tell you just how bad it is. Um, and both things can be true.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I love that. And I think, yeah, I would piggyback off of that and say that, you know, it's the duality of life. If there's dark, there's light, if there's bad, there's good. And and we have that choice to find that balance. And there's an invitation as simple as thank you for this breath, thank you for this food that I'm gonna eat, thank you for the water, clean water that I can drink, you know, just that appreciation and gratitude for those little things. And it just came to me when I was listening to you guys about that kind of posture and bringing space within your body and enlivening your spine, which is our energy, right? Our brain and our heart run off of actual electricity. And the more that we elongate and create space there, the more electricity we can run. And if you think about somebody who's like bent over, which is a lot of us at computers, and the front side of our body is all collapsed, and that's you know, our heart center and these kind of vital creative centers. And if we can, you know, I think about a plant that it's a seed that you put in the ground first. It starts in the ground and it forms roots, it forms a base in order to go up. And then with more sunlight and more expansion, it grows even deeper roots. It goes further into the ground to support itself while it continues to go up. And if we can remember that the ground is our support and our base to help us grow and evolve, and even if it is just like standing and creating those dimensional kind of exercises that you were talking about, Courtney, are really great. Like how much space can you take up? And remember that you can take up space, but that that ground is your support to help you take up more space. It could be as simple as that is remembering that we have this connection to the ground, the earth, this thing that supports us and gives us life. And be grateful for that. Find that positive. And there's always, always positive things happening in the world. Always. You don't have to look far. You can see a squirrel doing something silly outside, and that can bring a smile to your face. Or, you know, right now there's monks walking across the country for peace, and they have the most adorable little dog, and like how amazing. He's got his own Facebook page. Like, how cool is that? So the things are out there, and it's it's a it the invitation is there to find the balance, to not avoid what's happening, but also to remember that there are equally amount of good things happening, if not more.
SPEAKER_02I love this idea of finding the joy and also being able to bring that joy. It's not just often as humans, we are focused on consumption pain, and and we're we're looking at consumption and focused externally. And here there's an opportunity to share that dog on Facebook so someone else gets the joy and and shares that. We can take small actions to spread the joy. It's not just about consuming it for ourselves, although that is important, but it's also about how can we bring a little bit of that joy forward or spread it or expand it or or highlight it in a way that others might be able to connect with it a little bit more easily than they would be able beforehand. And I wonder if that's a little bit of what we're doing here with with this, these conversations are letting people know that it's possible, that you can share this, that it can spread, and you can be a generator of joy even in dark times.
SPEAKER_00I love that. Yeah, I do hope my intention coming out of these conversations is that it's connecting to folks out there that hold some of the same struggles that each of us has. Held and possibly getting a new perspective or a new idea or a new way of looking at something so that they're not struggling or suffering as much. We're all in this together, and there's so much, you know, support and wisdom and help available out in the world that I don't want people to feel like they're isolated or it's hopeless or there's nothing that they can do because the exact opposite is true.
SPEAKER_02We talked a lot about community at the beginning of this conversation. And I'm wondering if we can revisit that just a little bit because we talked about it in terms of what we can do to go find a community to feel less alone or to feel less isolated. And it's also important, I think, when I think about community, to understand what are we bringing to the community as well, that we are a part of it. We are not consumers. We are not going to a community to purchase something and then leave. We are going to a community to participate in that community. And that feels really necessary and relevant. A lot of what we talk about have has Buddhist undertones or overtones. And one of the concepts in Buddhism is taking refuge, taking refuge in the teacher, in the teaching, and in the circle of practitioners. And there's a way in which we're not just showing up to consume the teaching or what the teacher has to offer, but there's something about that connection with others who are practicing alongside us that offers value and strength and power to the idea of community. And I'm just wondering if there's anything there that either of you would like to share, offer.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think it to me, it's this energetic resonance of we all back to that energy that we have within our body that actually radiates out. And when we are in connection, whether it's physical or even non-local, right? Here we are in three different states and we can resonate together with shared understanding and shared values and shared love and compassion for each other and the world. And there's there's um I think the benefit of that energy calms and soothes our energetic systems. And that's the like a huge benefit for a world of suffering and a world of going through difficult times. It's just knowing that there are people here with us that have that same resonance, whatever that resonance is for you, but that that's available there for you. It's really supportive.
SPEAKER_00Agreed. Yeah, I don't have anything to add to that. That's a hundred percent right on. It's a time to be in community. And I I think I mentioned in one of our past episodes a couple of years ago, my my resolution was be a community member, not a consumer. And it's actually taken a lot of unlearning and a lot of different ways of being to actually be a community member, understand what that exchange looks like, and not just go into consumer mode of, you know, I'll buy the t-shirt. And that's, you know, that's that's where I'll where I'll stop. But how do we contribute and feed the community and also be fed and supported by that community? So if that's a concept that's new to you or something that you're not as familiar with, I hope you take some time to explore that, this idea of community, the impact of being part of a community, the ways that you can help share your own talents or interests or um ways of being in a community, the ways that that community can nourish you. That's not a topic that we talk a lot about. Even when you're in school, a lot of times your school cohort, there's a competition. Who's the top 10%? Who's the bottom 10%? And who's how do we rank against one another? That's not community. Community is more circle, not line or org chart of power dynamics. And so if this idea of community is something you haven't really played with or tried out, I hope you do this year. I hope you do.
SPEAKER_02Comment about school, Courtney, gets me because community service feels like a punishment these days. That word, whether in the prison system, it's a punishment, or whether in school, you know, I have to get my my community service hours to graduate, it's a requirement. It's not something that people are doing because they want to do it. And they're doing it because they have to do it. And it really makes it almost an adversarial relationship to be in. And that's something that I think we should all be trying to change the narrative on and come back to this idea of I'm showing up to community and serving community, and I'm being served by community by showing up and by acting. But it requires that relationship for it to be able to work in a way that serves the highest good. And so I love that we're able to have this conversation so frankly about that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Okay, so let's bring her home. We've got it's there's some difficult things happening out in the world. It doesn't look like that's going to slow down anytime soon. 26 most likely will continue to be fairly turbulent and parting words of what to take into your 2026. Jessica, what are you taking into this year?
SPEAKER_01I am my words are presence and clarity. And I think for me it's being present in each moment. And the clarity piece could mean a lot of different things to me personally, but in this context, I have a sense it's putting the phone down. And that's also presence too, right? Like just acknowledging things that are happening, seeing headlines, making a choice whether I want to get into reading the article or listening to the news story about it to be more informed, or if I feel comply what's going on. Um, and that there's always that choice. So that would be my insight for this year is to find that balance between staying informed and involved in a way that works with your heart. But if it starts to get out of that heart-centered space, you know, find find ways to ground back in and come from that place. Because I think we need more heart-centered, love-centered progress to be that grounding force through these turbulent times. I love that.
SPEAKER_02What about you, Bert? The power of our belief is something that we don't often think about and we do often underestimate. And from a manifestation point of view, if you don't believe that it's possible, then it won't be possible. And when we look at difficult times and we believe that that is the only way that things can be and it's gonna be like this forever, then that will be how we relate to it. And so believe that joy is possible. Believe that things can get better, that this isn't magical thinking. It's not pretend like things are getting better and then bury your head in the sand, but believe that it's possible and allow your thoughts and your words and your actions to follow that belief. And I think there will be a whole lot more possible for us in what it is we would like to see in the world if we believed that it was possible.
SPEAKER_00I love that. My word for this coming era, my concept for this coming year is weave. So W-E-A-V-E. Weave. So instead of kind of the overwhelm of all the things coming at me and all the things feeling so overwhelming, I'd like to weave things that are important to me, communities, my talents, the things that I want to accomplish or give in my life, weave those together into something more cohesive and comprehensive, uniquely for me. So it might not be a weaving that other people would do the same or whatever, but bring some coherency to the ways that I'm using my energy and time so that things can still be, you know, wild and woolly, but I've got that strength of woven belief systems, actions, community, things I do for joy, connection with friends and family, whatever that is. So love these words. I'm really great. As always, thank you so much for being here with me, kind of talking about these timely important topics. And um until next time. Thank you for listening. Don't forget to check our show notes for links and resources. And if you enjoyed today's episode of Interthreads, would you share it with a friend or a rate and review to help others like you find the show? And if there's a question or topic you have that you'd like to hear us address on Interthreads, drop us a line. We'd be happy to hear from you.